A “lamentation” is defined as “the passionate expression of grief or sorrow.” This perfectly characterizes the biblical book of Lamentations. It is a collection of five poems of mourning, written on the occasion of the destruction of Judah and its capital Jerusalem in 586 B.C.E. It’s a short but powerful book, and perhaps my favorite in the Bible, for reasons both personal and literary.
During my second year of college, I had a total crisis of faith/nervous breakdown that forced me to leave my school in Seattle, and move back home with my parents. As I struggled to emerge from a crippling depression, I read the Bible. I wasn’t really reading it devotionally. I can’t exactly explain why I read it every day. I had lots of free time. Maybe I was looking for something to hold onto. Maybe it was curiosity. What does it feel like, I wondered, to read the Bible after you’ve lost your faith? Mostly, I was confused and/or horrified at the gnarly stories in the Old Testament. But sometimes a book would strike a chord in me. It would resonate at a human level, despite the fact that I’d lost my faith.
“How lonely sits the city
That once was full of people…Judah has gone into exile with suffering…
And finds no resting place…
O Lord, look at my affliction…
Look and see if there is any sorrow like my sorrow…
For these things I weep…
Zion stretches out her hands,
But there is no one to comfort her…
To what can I liken you, that I may comfort you…
For vast as the sea is your ruin…
Who can heal you?
Into darkness without any light…
He has made me sit in darkness
Like the dead of long ago…
I have forgotten what happiness is.
The thought of my affliction and my homelessness
Is wormwood and gall…
My soul continually thinks of it
And is bowed down within me…
Lamentations. |
And then something amazing happens in the text. In the midst of this cry of sorrow and
defeat, there comes an ecstatic moment of hope that is made all the more
astonishing given its context. This is
not cheap hope. This is hope born of
despair. It’s the kind of crazy hope
Fyodor Dostoyevsky sprinkles throughout his novels of suffering. It’s a totally illogical ecstatic hope, and
it breaks my heart and also makes me smile:
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
His mercies never come to an end;They are new every morning;
Great is your faithfulness.
‘The Lord is my portion,’
Says my soul,
‘Therefore I will hope in him.’”
Now, to be honest, when I read that, it wasn’t as if I suddenly re-gained
my faith. Even reading it today, I’m
still pretty much an agnostic. What
amazes me about this passage is not God, but the poet. How can a person who is in the depths of
despair and grief, who has lost everything (even his identity) still hope? I have no idea, but it is something humans
are capable of. It reminds me of a passage from Dostoyevsky's novel Crime and Punishment, which
expresses a similar theme as Lamentations.
I will call that theme “Ecstatic expressions of hope in utterly
miserable circumstances.” In Dostoyevsky’s
novel, this monologue is given by a drunken man whose wife hates him, whose
daughter is a prostitute, and whose life is complete shit. After telling his sob story to Raskolnikov
(the main character), the bartender asks the old drunk “Why should we pity you?” And here’s what the man replies:
"Why am
I to be pitied, you say ? Yes ! There's nothing to pity me for ! I ought to be crucified,
crucified on a cross, not pitied !
Crucify me, oh judge, crucify me, but pity me! And then I will go of myself to be crucified,
for it's not merry-making I seek, but tears and tribulation ! . . . Do you
suppose, you that sell, that this pint of yours has been sweet to me? It was
tribulation I sought at the bottom of it, tears and tribulation, and have found
it, and I have tasted it; but He will pity us Who has had pity on all men, Who has
understood all men and all things, He is the One, He too is the judge. He will
come in that day and He will ask: 'Where is the daughter who gave herself for
her cross, consumptive step-mother and for the little children of another? Where is the daughter who had pity upon the
filthy drunkard, her earthly father, undismayed by his beastliness?' And He
will say, 'Come to me ! I have already forgiven thee once. ... I
have forgiven thee once. . . . Thy sins which are many are forgiven thee for
thou hast loved much. . . .'
And he will forgive my Sonia, He will forgive, I know it ... I felt it in my
heart when I was with her just now
! And He will judge and will forgive all, the good and the evil, the wise and
the meek. . . . And when He has done with all of them, then He will summon us. 'You
too come forth/ He will say, 'Come forth, ye drunkards, come forth, ye weak
ones, come forth, ye children of shame !' And we shall all come forth, without
shame and shall stand before him. And He will say unto us, 'Ye are swine, made in the Image
of the Beast and with his mark; but come ye also !' And the wise ones and those
of understanding will say, 'Oh Lord, why dost Thou receive these men?' And He will
say, This is why I receive them, oh ye wise, this is why I receive them, oh ye
of understanding, that not one of them believed
himself to be worthy of this.' And He will hold out His hands to us and we
shall fall down before Him . . . and we shall weep . . . and we shall
understand all things ! Then we shall understand all ! . . . and all will understand,
Katerina Ivanovna even . . . she will understand. . . . Lord, Thy kingdom
come!"
I sat upon the shore
Fishing, with the arid plain behind me
Shall I at least set my lands in order?
London Bridge is falling down falling down falling down...
These fragments I have shored against my ruins...
Datta. Dayadhvam. Damyata.
shantih shantih shantih
The last two lines are from the Hindu scripture Upanishad. It loosely translates "The peace which passeth understanding."
I also love the book of Lamentations because it ends on a note of uncertainty, and feels deeply truthful because of this. The book ends with a plea for mercy from God, but with no indication that this plea will be answered. The book, like the questions it poses, remains open-ended.
Why have you forgotten us completely?
Why have you forsaken us these many days?
Restore us to yourself, O Lord, that we may be restored;
renew our days as of old--
unless you have utterly rejected us
and are angry with us beyond measure.
Like the book of Job, Lamentations dives deeply into the quagmire of human suffering, and raises more questions than it answers. For this reason, I appreciate the little book of Lamentations.