Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Starbucks Theology

These two dudes sit at a Starbucks table, one with a full Macintosh desktop computer set up on his table (not a laptop), the other staring very carefully at a page from a well-worn Bible. Nearly every line on the page has been underlined, which is kind of baffling to me, because if every line is underlined, it kind of defeats the purpose.

The two dudes are arguing quite intensely about something related to the "Holy Spirit." I can't quite make out the exact substance of their argument, but my general impression is this: These two dudes are arguing very smugly, with such certainty, about things that are totally abstract and unknowable.

And then this older heavy-set middle-aged woman and a thin middle-aged man sit at the table next to them. Somehow, the two dudes manage to suck the middle-aged couple into some kind of biblical argument about Adam and Eve, because the woman apparently gets excited about any mention of God or the Bible. It reminds me a lot of a couple Bible studies I was a part of when I went to church, where every one degenerated into a virtual dick-measuring contest of who knew more about the Bible.

These words flash through my mind: You can't see the forest for the trees.

One of the dudes says, "You have to read my book. It's called 'Ready for the Rapture.'"

"How can I get your book?" she asks.

"It's not published yet. Just take my cell number," he says.

The other dude says, "I'm writing a book too."

I think the dudes are homeless.

"The book is actually the first in a series of four."

The woman takes these guys totally seriously. She writes down the titles of their books, Bible verses they quote, and their various theological statements.

"The world is controlled by the spirit of the Anti-Christ." one of the dudes says.

These dudes sound borderline insane. They argue and discuss, but what do they do? They sit in Starbucks and discuss technicalities of the Bible. I guess it's better than taking drugs.