Monday, July 25, 2011

Paradise Fragments: Reason and Non-Reason

In a dream, I had a wrestling match with my id.

This guy walked in my room, kicked in my mirror, and started wrestling me. I was trying to explain to him about how, in society, people agree to follow certain social contracts, where they don’t do things, like kick in peoples’ mirrors.

I tried to reason with my id, but I got the clear impression that he didn’t give two shits about reason or social contracts. He wanted to do what he wanted to do. That was all.

I grabbed his pinky and began to bend it back, like I was gonna break it. But then I stopped, and tried to explain how, by not breaking his finger, I was following a social contract, to not randomly hurt people. He seemed disinterested.

It was really frightening to meet someone who has zero sense of morality. But, according to Freud, that person lives inside us all.


I’m sitting at Maclain’s next to a group of five men and one woman who seem to be friends from either AA or NA or both. That’s what I gather from bits of their conversation.

This guy with a shaved head and goatee tells a story about “The best seven days of his life,” which he spent on a beach in Costa Rica with these women whose sole function seemed to be to bring him beer, carry his surfboard, and have sex with him.

“Girls were like that in ‘Nam,” another guy adds, “Submissive.”

The first guy tells a story about how he saw and took a picture of a demon in the jungles of Panama.

“You wanna see a picture of a demon?” he says.

A bit later, I overhear the woman say, “So that’s when I found out I was pregnant. I was drinking tequila at the bar and kept throwing up and didn’t know why. Turned out I was pregnant.”


I’m eating breakfast at Denny’s when a haggard-looking guy with crazy eyes, the thousand yard stare, walks in and does not wait to be seated. He sits in the booth right next to mine. The server greets him and asks, “The usual?”

I’m very curious what “the usual” is for this man.

It turns out that “the usual” is three separate cups of coffee and a bowl of sugar packets. Why would anyone order three separate cups of coffee? Why not order one coffee and take advantage of the free refills at Denny’s? That would be more rational.

But it appears that rationality is not what this guy is all about.

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