Thursday, July 28, 2011

Paradise Fragment: How to survive a boring meeting

At a really boring meeting. Eyelids heavy. Some people have this air of smug superiority that really rubs me the wrong way. I feel like people are talking simply because they like to hear themselves talk. I use the method I used in college sometimes when I was bored in class. I pretend to be taking notes, but actually I am writing about something completely different. In this case, I write a review of the movie “Transmorphers: Fall of Man”:

This is a movie that often comes up on Netflix instant watch, and I never gave it a chance because it had such a terrible rating (1.5 out of 5 stars). However, last night I decided to give it a chance because it takes place in a post-apocalyptic setting, and I like post-apocalyptic movies.

After about 15 minutes, I deemed it unwatchable. The acting is terrible and the CGI looks like something off a Super Nintendo game. I was sort of baffled that a movie this utterly shitty could even be made. So I did some research on the production company that put the film out—The Asylum.

I learned that this company specializes in something called “mockbusters.” Basically, they make films with similar-sounding titles and posters as blockbusters and release them the same time as blockbusters, hoping to fool the undiscerning movie-watcher. Thus, Transmorphers: Fall of Man came out on DVD the same time as Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. If you go to the web site of The Asylum, you can see a complete list of their mockbusters. My favorite title is “The Da Vinci Treasure.”

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