Sunday, April 10, 2011

Heavy is the head...

A couple days ago,
I decided not to carry my cell phone.
It was a burden I did not want anymore.
Like e-mail, or any other way
People can ask me to do things.
I am tired.

Yestereday, I slept most of the day.
I couldn't muster the energy to do stuff.

This morning, Jerry said,
"Jesse, you look tired."
I am tired.

I am tired of being a leader,
of the gallery, of the band,
of a variety show,
of a book store,
of all these things I do
for free, for others.

I am tired. I need help.
I need others to do a
really great job too.
My head is heavy.
I need others to help me
carry these burdens.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I think you do those things for yourself. Isn't that why you started doing them in the first place? Maybe you are spreading yourself too thin.

  3. I do those things because I love them, yes. But I also do them because I think they contribute something meaningful to my community. The book store, the band, the gallery, the variety show--these are all collaborations that I sometimes feel I bear the most burden of, because I am willing to consistently do things for non-financial gain. I dunno. It's just been a hard week.

  4. It is hard work. Ask for help if help is what you want. They do contribute to the community, but it is not a burden that has been forced upon you. Maybe there just isn't enough time to do so many projects at once.

  5. i tend to do the same thing. i take on way too much, and i put a lot of pressure on myself to do those things well because they are things i love. unfortunately, they are also things that don't pay well (or at all, in certain cases). when i feel burdened by too much i try to do something just for me. and i try to find balance, but it's really hard. when all else fails, i think of my parents. they never made much money, but i am sure that both of them made a difference and impacted others. those are the things that matter most: make yourself happy by doing what you love & improving the world around you. there's my two cents.

  6. What I did today is I made myself a schedule for each day, where I plan out what I will do that day. What I found is that I do in fact have time to do all these projects, and have plenty of time for rest. I think the source of my recent stress has more to do with money and taxes and arguments with landlords and other stuff. Basically, just a shitty past couple weeks. My reaction was anger and fatigue. I will keep on keepin on, and askin others to help, if they want.

  7. Even the good stuff can be a headache once in awhile. Money is a likely depressant. I'd be down to lend a hand with whatever you need.