Monday, March 28, 2011

The Beautiful Struggle

I should be grading papers, but I feel like writing instead. It's a familiar situation for me.

Tonight I've been thinking about the main struggles in my life:

1.) The struggle to follow my dreams while still making a living wage, which is actually a larger struggle with capitalism as an economic system that places money as the highest reward for human achievement, which is contrary to my values.

2.) The struggle with anxiety and depression, which is perhaps partly a result of struggle #1.

3.) The struggle to find a companion who truly inspires me, perhaps also a partial result of struggle #1 (i.e. I am not inspired by people who follow money/security instead of their dreams.)

4.) The struggle to find/understand/come to terms with God/faith/spirituality.

These are the struggles of my life and, strange and difficult as they are, I am sort of thankful for them. They seem irreconcilable and are therefore a constant wellspring of inspiration. Every creative thing I do (writing, art, music) is a result of one or more of these struggles. There is a show on KPFK (90.7 FM) called "The Beautiful Struggle". I like that.

Alright, now back to those papers...


  1. Hey Jesse-

    I really wanted to comment on your dissociation post but my netbook decided against it by crashing.

    I want you not feel alone. I don't mean lonely, I mean alone. Please carry in your pocket the fact that there are people in your neighborhood, let alone the world, who are following their bliss blindly and ecstatically. My crafts BFA and MFA will cost me $50g which is more than I have ever made in my entire life working.

    I'm majoring in crafts...I am already planning my luxurious life in a rusty leaky trailer somewhere in Oregon, making jewelry the masses will never wear or like, eating canned food I got at a church pantry.

    I'm actually not being sarcastic.

    In the immortal words of Joseph Campbell: