My computer informed me today
That my “screen time” is down
20% from last week.
I spent only 6 hours and 22 minutes
Per day on the computer.
But that doesn’t include my laptop,
Which I stare at for hours each night
Watching movies and TV
Before falling asleep.
This is my life.
Tonight, I lay in bed re-watching
“The Mandalorian” and sometimes
Googling things like,
“What is Moff Gideon’s plan?”
And somehow I end up watching
The 1980 gay slasher film “Cruising”
Starring Al Pacino
And secretly thinking…
The 1980 New York leather scene
Seemed pretty cool.
I am lonely.
I live alone during a pandemic.
Only recently, I have begun emerging
Back to the local nightlife
Social scene that was my lifeline to…
I sit alone on the patio of a bar
Reading research notes
From an article I’ve been
Working on for the past three months
About school desegregation.
I sip my beer and wave at folks I know—
Those casual social acquaintances
I have missed so dearly.
I am 41 years old.
I edit a local newspaper.
I rent a little apartment.
I live next to the railroad tracks.
I am lonely and alive,
And I am emerging back into life.